Venting About Mom Won’t Bring You Peace

By Val Boyko • July 31st, 2011

tearing my hair outHow come so many women put up with frustration around their mothers? Its so common,  it’s a standard joke of comedians and story lines in books, theater and television. Its something that we can share, laugh about and cry over.

One way that many of us find relief is by venting about what we are feeling to a friend. When we let it out it releases the anger and pent up frustration, and makes us feel  better.

But is venting the answer? Just like in any relationship – whether it’s your partner or your boss – venting releases tension but doesn’t bring about resolution.

It brings release ….. until the next time.

A problem shared may be a problem halved …. but it isn’t a problem solved!

When we vent it makes us feel so much better. As well as the energy release, we feel heard, we know that we are not alone and feel accepted. Because we feel better, and we kidding ourselves?…..

Relying on venting may be keeping us stuck, instead of helping us have a more fulfilling and real mother relationship.

pressure cookerVenting is like releasing the top of the pressure cooker but not getting to the underlying cause of the build up of steam!

As Mother Whisperers, part of our journey is to find the courage to open the pot and see what’s been cooking! When we accept what’s there, we can start to move forward and bring about the changes that will give us true peace of mind.



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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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