The 4 Keys to See Things Differently and Open Up New Possibilities

By Val Boyko • October 7th, 2011

oyster and pearlWhen we accept that a relationship (or any situation for that matter) isn’t working and things need to change, it can sometimes be hard to know what to do next. Change is difficult, even when we know its for the best!

I know. I’m a coach with a change challenge myself! However, I’ve learned that a small shift in my perspective can give me the momentum for making change for the better.

There are 4 shifts in my thinking that I use for myself and with clients to see things differently and open up possibilities.

1. From “My way is the right way” to “Let’s explore your way” Be open to the others person’s point of view. Empathize and listen. By doing so, you become a neutral observer to what’s going on and see the bigger picture.

2. From “What’s wrong?” to “What’s right?” As human beings we usually look at what isn’t working for us, and we forget or fail to see what can be working well. Ask yourself – what is working, rather than what isn’t working? What are my strengths I can build on? 

3. From “Looking back ” to “Moving forward” When it comes to changing, we usually have to let go of something before we can move on. How much of your time is spent looking backwards and wishing for things to be different? What do you need to let go of?

4. From “This is impacting me” to “How can I impact the situation?” We may not have control of the circumstances around us, but we always have a choice in how we respond to them and the action we take. What different choices can you make that will have an impact on the relationship or situation and how you feel?

I keep this list next to my desk as a reminder to always be open to seeing things differently and be ready for change. It works for me, and I hope it works for you. Try it and see 🙂



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