The 2nd Step for ALL Mother Whisperer Daughters

By Val Boyko • October 24th, 2010
STEP 2 Ask yourself, “Who is my Mother?”

womans face1Get to know your mother with fresh eyes as a human being and adult woman, rather than through the eyes of a daughter.womans face2

When we see our mother through the eyes of others and not solely through our own eyes, it opens us up to relate to her in a different way.

While we will always be her daughter we can choose to adjust the relationship to be more consistently an adult-adult one, and avoid the adult-child one.

womans face3Who is she and how does she want to be seen by you and by others?

What was her mother relationship like, and what factors have contributed to make her the woman she is today?womans face5

 

Increase your awareness about who your mother is and what she needs and wants by answering these questions:

  • What are the best moments of her week?
  • What brings her happiness and joy?
  • What does she  do at an excellent level?
  • What’s really important to her? (Is it career, family, relationships, a cause, etc…)
  • What beliefs, values and needs are important to her? (Tip – Notice what makes her angry, because it is usually a belief or value that has been transgressed or a need that is not being met)
  • What is she afraid of?
  • What does she want that she doesn’t have?
  • What else comes to mind about who your mother is?
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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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