Don Miguels Ruiz’s Story about What is Real and the Second Agreement

Ruiz tells us we human beings are always dreaming. He describes it   his way:

Everything you perceive is a reflection of what is real. Behind your eyes is a brain that tries to make sense of everything. Your brain is interpreting everything you perceive according to the meaning you give it. Everything you see if being filtered through your belief system. And the result of interpreting everything you perceive by using everything you believe is your personal dream.

When we aren’t aware that our mind is always dreaming, it’s easy to blame everyone and everything outside of us. To realize our mind is dreaming gives us the key to changing our dream if we’re not enjoying it. …

He then tells this story….

“You go inside a movie theater and it’s empty except for one person. Very quietly you sit beside this person who doesn’t notice you, her attention is on the movie. You look at the screen and what a surprise! You recognize all the characters – your mother, your father, your sister and brothers, your beloved, your children, your friends. The you see the main character in the move – and it’s you! It’s the story of you!  And that person sitting in front of you is also you watching yourself acting out your life. You feel a little overwhelmed by everything you have witnessed and go to the next theater.

In the next theater there is also a person who doesn’t notice you. You start watching the movie, and you recognize all the characters. But this time you are a secondary character. This is the story of your mother’s life and she is watching it with full attention.

Then you realize that your mother is not the same person who was in your movie. The way she projects herself is completely different in her movie. It’s the way your mother wants everyone to perceive her. You know that it’s not authentic. She’s just acting. But then you begin to see that it’s the way she perceived herself, and it’s  kind of a shock.

Then you notice the character who has your face is not the same person who was in your movie. You say to yourself “Ah, that’s not me.”, but now you can see how your mother perceives you, what she believes about you, and it’s far from what you believe yourself. Then you see that her perception of your father and all the other characters are distorted too.”

The story continues with going to the theater of your beloved’s story and your children’s.

“When you see all the movies you realize that all the acting you have done in your life has been for nothing, because nobody sees you in the way that you do….

In that moment everything changes for you. Nothing is the same anymore, because now you see what’s really happening. People live in their own world, in their own movie and in their own story. Their story is the truth to them, but it isn’t the truth to you.

…. At this point it is clear that the people who you really love and who love you don’t really know you, and you don’t know them either. The only thing you know about them is what you believe about them. You only know the image you created for them, and that image has nothing to do with the real people.

Now you can see why people don’t understand one another and their is so much conflict in the world…. The world is populated by billions of dreamers who aren’t aware that people are living in their own world, dreaming their own dream.

From the point of view of the main character, which is their only point of view, everything is all about them. They want the secondary characters to be the way they want them to be, and if they are not they feel hurt. They take everything personally

Now the meaning of the second agreement is profoundly clear – Don’t take anything personally.

Don’t take anything personally gives you immunity in the interactions you have with secondary characters in your story. You don’t have to concern yourself with others point of view.

Once you see that nothing others say or do is about you, it doesn’t matter who gossips about you,  blames you, rejects you, disagrees  with your point of view you or criticizes you.

This really frees you! You no longer need to rule your life according to other people’s opinions. You can do whatever you want to do, knowing that whatever you do has nothing to do with anyone but you. The only person who needs to be concerned about the story of you is you.

Awareness of the truth is the first step to self-mastery , and that is what you are doing right now. You are being reminded of the truth.”

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