Am I Still Giving My Power Away To My Mother? – Results and Insights

Results

There are no right or wrong answers here. What we hope is for you to gain new insight into how much you are giving your power away to your mother.

Knowing how much control we are allowing our mother to have in our lives is an important  step in becoming free to our express ourselves on our Mother Whisperer journey.

If you answered mostly:

seldom or never = This would indicate that you have insight into the power balance between you and your mother.  If you also had a “usually or sometimes” answer, then see this as an opportunity to explore strategies that might work more effectively for you and your mother in those areas.

sometimes or seldom = This  would indicate that there may be some challenges for you in asserting yourself with your mother. If you also had a “usually” answer, then this is a good time to explore strategies that might work more effectively for you and your mother.

usually or sometimes = This would indicate that you may not realize how much power you are giving to your mother and how much it’s costing you and the relationship. It appears that you are struggling in being true to yourself and expressing what you want and need with your mother, as well as in life.

To explore strategies that will help you express your true self with your mother and build the relationship, we hope you will join our Mother Whisperers community and make the most of the information and advice you will find on our site.

If there is something on your mind and you want to talk directly then please fill out the Make an Appointment Today form on the right. It goes directly into Val’s mailbox and is completely confidential.

Insights on the Questions

1. My mother still pushes my buttons

Until we understand our buttons and what triggers them, we will be at their mercy. Mothers and Daughters are both queens of button pushing! Consider how you push her buttons. Pushing buttons only works when we are connected. When we are secure in ourselves we no longer rise to the bait and have claimed our power.

2. I intentionally take an opposing view to my mother’s

Taking a stand makes us feel in control, but we aren’t. We are letting our mother’s actions and comments drive us. When we use a false power move like this we are more trapped that ever in our powerlessness.

3. I avoid telling my mother the truth

To hold our personal power we must be willing to tell the truth, say no and risk their love and approval.

4. I rebel against my mother

We baby boomers are likely to have rebelled against our mothers in the 60’s and 70’s. Sometimes however this has taken us further away from who we really are. We take a stand for something different, but we lost our own identity along the way.

5.  I resent my mother’s intrusion into my life

When we are unable to set boundaries with our mothers and continue to play the role of  the good daughter, then resentment and our feeling of powerlessness will grow.

6. I procrastinate and put off confronting my mother

Until we take our power back and become proactive and set time aside to approach our mothers, we will always be at the mercy of our reactivity.”

7. I stay mad at my mother

When we stay mad we are demonstrating to our mothers and ourselves that our mother has control over us.

8. I refuse to forgive my mother

Refusing to forgive our mother is an other stalling tactic to avoid addressing the issues in our relationship. The longer this goes on, the more ground we lose. It brings stress and the conflict festers into an open sore that drains both of you. If we want our relationship back, then we have to stop and choose to connect with our mothers.

9. Do you think “If only she would change then I would be happier?”

An “if only” statement is a sure sign of giving our power away in any situation! We only have the power to change ourselves, not other people. Instead of wishing or hoping, we can claim our power (and feel a lot happier) by asking ourselves what we can do to move us towards the outcome we want.

10. I still blame my mother

Blaming is the ultimate trap of giving our power away. It becomes a false belief that everything in our life is out of our control. We become victims and martyrs. When we stop blaming our mothers and start facing the consequence of our actions we become so much freer to create the life we want.

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Please make an appointment to talk about what's going in your relationship and to see if coaching or our services would help!