Our Mothers as Victims

By Val Boyko • November 12th, 2010

Susan’s recent comment has made me think about the times when our mothers take on the victim role. When that happens we get hooked into either the role of hero or villain.

A friend of mine’s mother was lamenting how cruel her niece was for putting her mother into a home. She cast her as the villain and the sister with dementia as the victim. Her role was one of hero, becoming self righteous on behalf of her ailing sister.

Breaking free of this drama triangle isn’t easy, until we look outside of the triangle and are able to see a different reality.

When we step back we can see the compassion and love that leads the daughter to make such a tough and heart wrenching decision.

It’s the right thing to do, yet so difficult for everyone to face… because it shines a light on their own personal fears.

Share
 

Leave a Comment

« | Home | »

  • Join The Mother Whisperers Community


    Become a Member
    * indicates required
  • group of women
  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
  • Categories

  • Blogroll

  • Archives

Please make an appointment to talk about what's going in your relationship and to see if coaching or our services would help!