More Thoughts on Being Kind to Mother

By Val Boyko • March 21st, 2011

Mother and kind daughterCould it be that we can’t be kind because we can’t accept Mom the way she is? In other words, our giving of kindness is conditional on her being someone different?

Are you telling yourself “If my mother shows me more love…. or if she accepts my different choices in life…. or if she backs off…. of if she stops being critical…. etc etc etc …. then I will show her kindness.”?

Just below the surface is that old yearning for our mother to be different. (How come it keeps coming back to haunt us so?!)

If you want mom to change and still expect her to, then you are living in a dream or a fairy tale. One that makes you hopeful, but also keeps you in a pattern of disappointment and frustration when she doesn’t change!

Kindness can only blossom when we wake up, lower our expectations and try to accept our mother for who she truly is.


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