Its All About Me! – Life’s Biggest Lesson

By Val Boyko • May 31st, 2011

its all about meSome of us go through life looking to other people to make us feel good. As long as we do that we will also blame others and circumstances when things don’t go our way.

When it comes to mothers and daughters, it can certainly become a habit!

When we hurt or feel attacked a usual response is to blame the person who triggered the yucky feeling inside us. It’s a very human emotional reaction. However, it keeps us stuck.

When we keep looking outside ourselves with judgment and blame, we close ourselves off and aren’t able to learn. It becomes a downhill spiral. One bad thought leads to another and can easily lead to resentment and ongoing anger against the “bad” other person.

Instead of focusing on the other person and attacking them for how they made us feel, we can breakthrough (and break free) from these feelings when we acknowledge:

Our feelings are our issue.

Take a moment to think about the times that you feel the most hurt, angry and frustrated…. I know for me it’s when I don’t get my way in the simplest things – like which drawer to put something in or where to plant a plant! Gets me going every time.

As an adult, the yucky feeling still comes up, but now you have a choice about what to do with it.

The next time you hurt when your mother or daughter says or does something, instead of getting angry with her, ask yourself  “What do I want that I am not getting?”

And maybe you’ll agree that it really is about you and what you need, not about her after all!

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta
Share
 

Leave a Comment

« | Home | »

  • Join The Mother Whisperers Community


    Become a Member
    * indicates required
  • group of women
  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
  • Categories

  • Blogroll

  • Archives

Please make an appointment to talk about what's going in your relationship and to see if coaching or our services would help!