Insights from my road trip with my mother

By Val Boyko • October 25th, 2010

It definitely wasn’t Thelma and Louise! I was away last week, spending some special time with my mother who came over from Scotland.  We had decided on a road trip to see the colors in New England.Fall road in Vermont

I had my Mother Whisperer hat on and wanted to share what I learned with you.

Have you noticed how you work on something and then it comes up more and more?

Marlene and I had set up the first 2 key steps for all mother whisperer daughters to be posted while I was away.

Step 1 is about learning more about who you are. While I was away I got more awareness about how alike my mother and I are. I have inherited a bunch of things from her – despite denying most of them for most of my life! I saw them clearly … and it made sense. It was okay.

Step 2 is about learning more about our mothers as people. I saw my mother through the eyes of an adult woman rather than the daughter. I found a new compassion for a woman facing old age and acceptance for a woman who has remained unchanged.

Truly facing and accepting who we are and who our mothers are, can be road full of twists and turns as well as potholes and detours for maintenance!

Setting up a special time together however, can help bring this into perspective – especially entering into it with your Mother Whisperer hat firmly in place. Yes – at a jaunty youthful and flattering angle Mum!

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Comments

By susan master on October 26th, 2010 at 9:00 am

So you’re not Thelma and Louise…no matter, you had an excellent adventure of another kind on your road trip. Wonder if your mum had any insights of her own along the way…hmmm. As I began to see my mother as separate from myself, I started to appreciate her admirable qualities and become more tolerant of
her “quirks”. As a result, my own self-acceptance grew. Now that she is gone, I am so proud when I hear people who know us both, say, “you are so much like your mother.” I love you and miss you, Mom.

Thanks for sharing Susan. Reflection as well as loss gives us new perspectives. It’s good to see that there is the bonus of a big dose of compassion and acceptance too!

 

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