I Hope My Mother Never Reads This!

By Val Boyko • August 10th, 2010

A childhood fear for many of us was “I hope my mother doesn’t … see this … find this … hear this” etc. It’s amazing how it still comes up unexpectedly!

Back in June I started to think about topics to bring to our posts and this thought came to my mind – I hope my mother never reads this!!!

Oh boy! I am in my 50’s, and I don’t want to upset her. I don’t want her to feel criticized or for her to be hurt by what I say…… It took me right back to when I was little. As a child I learned not to say things that would upset mummy and to do things that pleased her.

As Denise McGregor tells us (from her book Mama Drama) our power is our ability to express ourselves fully as autonomous individuals.

Perhaps if I had taken the Mother Whisperers Quiz I would have seen sooner that the fact that this thought came to me shows that I still have some work to do around giving my power away to my mother!

Now – a few months later something has changed inside of me. I am no longer as worried about upsetting my mother or for her to misunderstand the nature of our Mother Whisperer work. It’s a way for me to express myself as an adult woman and encourage others to do so in the same way as we continue on this journey.

After all, this is THE  place to speak my truth and express myself fully!

Has anything happened to you recently to remind you that you might still be giving your power away to your mother and not expressing yourself?

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Comments

By Susan Hanway Scott on September 24th, 2010 at 6:43 pm

My mother gives me a lot of subtle messages that say, “Deny your feelings”. So recently I decided to make the covert overt. In response to an e-mail where she told me I should be glad to be eating leftovers for dinner on my birthday (because weren’t you lucky to have such a big festive lunch! And aren’t you lucky to have such a hard working husband!), I wrote, “Mom, I know you want me to be safe and happy, but sometimes my feelings are just…my feelings!”

Susan, Thanks for sharing! I like your response. Confirming our love and the importance of our mother’s role is a valuable communication skill, especially before we say something that is different from our normal response, and expresses our own thoughts and feelings.

really, wonderful site. I really found this on Bing, and I am delighted I did. i’ll definately be coming back here often. wish i could improve the overall posts here and provide more to the table, however I’m only absorbing just as much facts as I can at this point.

 

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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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