Finding Courage to Have that (Dreaded) Honest Conversation with Mother

By Val Boyko • February 25th, 2011

I spoke recently with an outgoing, intelligent and successful woman who becomes as quiet as a mouse around her mother to avoid upsetting her. She learned early on not to rock the boat.  Instead, like so many daughters, she chooses to swallow the hurt, and act as if everything is okay. She knows in her heart that everything isn’t okay. Conversations feel as phony as their relationship appears to be now. It’s not how she wants her mother relationship to be like.reminder that courage comes from the heart

It’s SO hard. Even when we know in our mind that being honest and sharing how we feel is the way to get a closer connection with mother. The price of her getting upset seems much too high.

Rather than looking to our minds, where old fears  filter our thoughts, let’s turn to our heart to find our courage.

Courage comes from the French word “coeur” meaning heart.  We won’t find courage by thinking about it in our head.

Courage comes from our heart.

It takes courage to be vulnerable to the unknown.

Courage expands our openness, kindness and compassion – for ourselves as well as our mothers.

Enhanced by Zemanta…. and in doing so, if we can help our mothers be more courageous to be open, kind and compassionate, how wonderful would that be?

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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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