Communication 101 for Daughters and Mothers – #3 Angry People Don’t Listen

By Val Boyko • June 22nd, 2011

Angry WomanToday’s tip is so simple it should be easy to remember. But, for most of us it’s easy to forget!

Here it is: Angry people don’t listen. When someone experiences that trigger and rush of emotion, rational thinking goes out the window, and along with it is our ability to listen to the other person.

Think of a recent time when you have been triggered…. What did you notice?

When we feel threatened we go into defend and survive mode! We have a rush of adrenaline in our bodies, preparing us for flight or fight. Our thoughts are about how we feel threatened or put upon, how to defend ourselves, overcoming the other and being right.

This isn’t the time to listen, but the time to attack and defend!

Unless we give ourselves time to breathe and become present with what is happening, strong emotions will continue to prevent us from listening.

I also read somewhere that when we are angry, we tend to clench our jaw. When our jaw is clenched it restricts our physical ability to hear. So angry people won’t, don’t and can’t listen!

Bottom Line Tips:

– When your mother or daughter is angry. Step back, don’t expect her to listen to you. This is not the time to get your point across.

– When you are upset, you aren’t listening either. Step back, breathe and regroup.

 

 

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