Archive for Needs

Tips for Dealing With Mother’s Guilt Trips

It isn’t easy to step back and be mindful when you feel criticized, triggered and guilty, especially when it comes from your mother. Understanding what is going on inside of her and what’s behind the guilt trip can help daughters shift gears and regain their thoughtful adult self! According to Denise McGregor in her book […]

The 3 Steps to Break Free of Guilt in the New Year

As I’m writing about guilt I realize that this is the time when we set resolutions for the New Year. Are you yearning to break free of the mother daughter guilt trap in 2012? For many of you it may seem impossible, but I know that it is possible and comes down to these three […]

Guilt, Mothers and Daughters – Break Free of This Gruesome Threesome

Mothers making daughters feel guilty has been coming up in conversations lately. It must be the Season! If you got the gift of guilt from your mother for Christmas this year, then you won’t want to miss our next posts and article about guilt. What is guilt? Why does feeling guilty feel so bad? Why […]

When Building a Better Relationship With Your Daughter Isn’t Enough.

In my conversations with mothers, I’ve witnessed the strong drive to not repeat the frustration and pain that they experienced with their mothers. I’ve heard the powerful urge to right a perceived wrong that was done to them and make it better for the next generation.

However, focusing on your daughter relationship may not be enough to fill the hole within you or heal the legacy of hurt and disappointment with your own mother. It helps, but may not be enough to bring you peace of mind.

Its All About Me – She May Be My Mom, But It’s MY Peace of Mind

When I want peace of mind, I try to remember that its MY peace of mind not anyone else’s. Our peace of mind belongs to each one of us. Anything that bothers us is our issue. So, if we want to have peace of mind then its up to us to do something about it. […]

Self Compassion For Daughters – Connect With Our Inner Mother

Thinking about our last post about self compassion, I had a new insight that I’d like to share. Dr Kristin Neff wrote: “When our inner voice continually criticizes and berates us we end up feeling worthless, incompetent and insecure, and we often end up in negative cycles of self sabotage and self harm.” Wait a […]

Accepting Your Narcissistic Mother

In reading about maternal narcissism, one of the common issues for daughters of narcissistic mothers is how hard it is to accept that their mothers are not how they had always hoped they would be – accepting Mom as she is not! Coming to terms with the reality of a “less than perfect”‘ mother is […]

Daughters, How To Express Your True Power – Part 2

I believe that true power lies inside all of us. When we access it we become free to be our true selves. Here are more useful tips for accessing the power within you during interactions, rather than giving your power away. If you missed part 1 of this post with three steps to start working […]

Communication 101 for Daughters and Mothers – #7 The Gift Behind Complaining

Have you ever had a conversation and had a new insight that really sticks? I call these “nuggets”. Like pieces of gold that we can take with us to enrich our lives. I recall a conversation with Dr Susan Campbell about communicating in relationships and here’s one of her nuggets that have stuck with me. […]

Communication 101 for Daughters and Mothers – #6 Listen to Her!

Effective communication is two way – delivering your message so that it is heard and understood, and listening to the other person so they feel heard and understood. Sounds simple enough, but most of us do more talking that listening. Here’s the first tip to remember – when we are talking we are not listening! […]

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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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