Archive for Mother Relationships

An Unexpected Word That Can Change Your Mother Daughter Relationship

As I finished our last post on sharing our pain without blame, and expressing our feelings,  I remembered a great tip from my mentor coach Jay Perry. As we learn to let go of suppressing our feelings and practice sharing how we feel, there is one simple word that can have a powerful impact. Its […]

Communication 101 for Daughters and Mothers – #9 Share How You Feel (eek!)

One of the toughest communication skills from Dr Susan Campbell is to  “Speak our pain without blame”. Sharing how we feel is a very vulnerable place for most of us. We are revealing our true selves, without knowing how the other person will respond. When we share how we feel we open our heart. Even […]

Make an Agreement to Make Your Relationship Work

When a mother and daughter commit to working on their relationship together, its important to have common understanding and agreement on things that both of you are willing to commit to doing. This will help you   maintain the integrity of your relationship when the going gets tough. Here are some suggestions. I agree to: 1. […]

When Building a Better Relationship With Your Daughter Isn’t Enough.

In my conversations with mothers, I’ve witnessed the strong drive to not repeat the frustration and pain that they experienced with their mothers. I’ve heard the powerful urge to right a perceived wrong that was done to them and make it better for the next generation.

However, focusing on your daughter relationship may not be enough to fill the hole within you or heal the legacy of hurt and disappointment with your own mother. It helps, but may not be enough to bring you peace of mind.

Its All About Me – She May Be My Mom, But It’s MY Peace of Mind

When I want peace of mind, I try to remember that its MY peace of mind not anyone else’s. Our peace of mind belongs to each one of us. Anything that bothers us is our issue. So, if we want to have peace of mind then its up to us to do something about it. […]

Self Compassion For Daughters – Connect With Our Inner Mother

Thinking about our last post about self compassion, I had a new insight that I’d like to share. Dr Kristin Neff wrote: “When our inner voice continually criticizes and berates us we end up feeling worthless, incompetent and insecure, and we often end up in negative cycles of self sabotage and self harm.” Wait a […]

How Good are You at Letting Go of Self Criticism and Discovering Self Compassion?

I’m really enjoying reading Dr Kristin Neff’s research and insights into Self Compassion. Here at Mother Whisperers we’ve talked about accepting and loving ourselves so we are able to accept and love others, especially our mothers or daughters. Kristen looks at self compassion more deeply and writes in a recent article in Psychology Today: “When […]

Daughters, How to Keep Your True Power – A Final Word About Boundaries

Over the summer I’ve been sharing insights into how we can express our true power as daughters. Today I’ll share a final word of advice. Before I do, here’s a summary of the strategies that we’ve covered so far: 1. Be aware of your interactions and how much your mother is still influencing you. 2. […]

Communication 101 for Daughters and Mothers – #8 Recognize Your Judge

It can be tricky recognizing our own judge. When we see a situation our mind tends to leap ahead to interpret and evaluate what’s going on. Its part of our human survival mode. This is really useful when we are facing real danger, but in everyday circumstances instead of survival it often leads to misunderstandings […]

Put Aside Your Mask and Own Your Feelings

Getting in touch with our feelings is an important step in our Mother Whisperers journey. How come it’s hard to know exactly what we are feeling?
Two reasons come to my mind about why its hard, and also why we shouldn’t feel bad about not being able to fully feel!

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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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