Archive for Fears

The Truth About You

I’m inspired to share this post from The BridgeMaker today. For all of us who have ever felt down and are hard on ourselves, these are powerful truths to bring us back. Enjoy! Val x “You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – A.A. Milne The enemy of […]

Communication 101 for Daughters and Mothers – #9 Share How You Feel (eek!)

One of the toughest communication skills from Dr Susan Campbell is to  “Speak our pain without blame”. Sharing how we feel is a very vulnerable place for most of us. We are revealing our true selves, without knowing how the other person will respond. When we share how we feel we open our heart. Even […]

THE Question to ask Next Time You Get Triggered – video tip

Here’s a great mini chapter from Brian Johnson’s Philosophers Notes on what to ask when you get super critical and a button is pushed! “Notice when you’re being super critical of other people and know that you’re just observing something within YOU that you need to address.Then celebrate the opportunity to grow as you count […]

5 Strategies To Overcome Our Childhood Hangovers At Work

In my reading and experience with clients I’ve found that our relationship with our mothers has a powerful long lasting affect on all our relationships as adults – including how we interact with others at work. I call these “childhood hangovers“. We may not even be aware of them at first, but they sure do […]

Communication Quiz – What is Your Intention?

  As part of our Communication 101 series for daughters and mothers, here’s a quiz from Dr Susan Campbell that will help you get insights into the intention behind your communication. Do you relate to the other person or tend to try to control the situation? Give yourself a 1 to 5 rating for each […]

Communication 101 For Daughters and Mothers – #2 Know Your Intention

Communication is ALL about our intention. Think about it. We communicate in order to: Get attention,  inform,  have our say,  be right,  explore,  be liked,   influence,  relate,  advise,  understand,  win approval,  get our way,  be heard,  convince others …..etc etc. Its estimated that about 90% of communication is about controlling. Most of the time we […]

Identity Crisis – Identity Choices

“If I give up my old familiar ways, who will I be and what will become of me?” In an earlier post on mid life identity  crises, I shared John Welwood‘s three choices that we face when are in an identity crisis. Today I’ll explore more about what these can look like from a coach’s […]

Are You a Narcissist Too? How Do You Know? Take This Quiz To Find Out.

Dr Karyl McBride has put together a set of questions to ask yourself if you are concerned that you may be a narcissist. She writes: Many adult children of narcissists report their biggest nightmare is discovering that they too may have some narcissistic traits. If a narcissistic parent raised you, have you wondered that as […]

If We Can’t Be Authentic With Mom, Can We Be Authentic In Life?

If we can’t be authentic with our mothers, can we be authentic in life? When I think about being authentic, I turn to a great  coach Jay Perry. Over the past 5 years I have been in a coaching group with Jay called All4One. Our purpose is to connect and support each other in our […]

Letting Go of Trying to Make Mom Happy

I want my mother to be happy. I used to believe that I could make her happy. When I was little I learned that if I was good and pleased her, mom was happy and I got her approval and love. It’s what children believe….. and it’s often a belief that we daughters continue to […]

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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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