Archive for Control Patterns

Guilt, Mothers and Daughters – Break Free of This Gruesome Threesome

Mothers making daughters feel guilty has been coming up in conversations lately. It must be the Season! If you got the gift of guilt from your mother for Christmas this year, then you won’t want to miss our next posts and article about guilt. What is guilt? Why does feeling guilty feel so bad? Why […]

Put Aside Your Mask and Own Your Feelings

Getting in touch with our feelings is an important step in our Mother Whisperers journey. How come it’s hard to know exactly what we are feeling?
Two reasons come to my mind about why its hard, and also why we shouldn’t feel bad about not being able to fully feel!

Labeling Keeps Daughters and Mothers Stuck! (and I’m not talking about post-it notes)

Thanks for all the feedback on the recent post Venting About Mom Won’t Bring You Peace. When we vent it feels good for a short while. It’s healthy to express our anger too. But for many daughters it’s difficult to move forward, and so the cycle of  hurt-anger-venting continues. Rather than looking at what’s going […]

Daughters, How To Express Your True Power – Part 2

I believe that true power lies inside all of us. When we access it we become free to be our true selves. Here are more useful tips for accessing the power within you during interactions, rather than giving your power away. If you missed part 1 of this post with three steps to start working […]

Daughters, How to Express Your True Power – Part 1

Many adult daughters in their 30’s, 40’s 50’s and even 60’s are still giving their power away to their mothers. Some women seem to think that there is no other way to be. That this is inevitable. Its something that we have to put with. Well, I’m here to tell you that it isn’t. If […]

5 Strategies To Overcome Our Childhood Hangovers At Work

In my reading and experience with clients I’ve found that our relationship with our mothers has a powerful long lasting affect on all our relationships as adults – including how we interact with others at work. I call these “childhood hangovers“. We may not even be aware of them at first, but they sure do […]

Communication Quiz – What is Your Intention?

  As part of our Communication 101 series for daughters and mothers, here’s a quiz from Dr Susan Campbell that will help you get insights into the intention behind your communication. Do you relate to the other person or tend to try to control the situation? Give yourself a 1 to 5 rating for each […]

Communication 101 For Daughters and Mothers – #2 Know Your Intention

Communication is ALL about our intention. Think about it. We communicate in order to: Get attention,  inform,  have our say,  be right,  explore,  be liked,   influence,  relate,  advise,  understand,  win approval,  get our way,  be heard,  convince others …..etc etc. Its estimated that about 90% of communication is about controlling. Most of the time we […]

Do You Have a “I don’t want to be like my mother” Filter?

We all have filters that we see the world through. In my reading, I haven’t come across the “I don’t want to be like my mother” filter, but I know from my conversations it can be a powerful force in shaping a woman’s life, and their daughters too!

More Thoughts on Being Kind to Mother

Find out the one most important thing that can hold us back from being kind to our mothers.

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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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