Archive for Beliefs

What is the the Greatest “Relationship Changing” Skill You Can Learn and Apply?

This is a popular re-post and useful perspective for dealing with difficult situations and people. Val xoxo Q. What is the greatest “relationship changing” skill you can learn and apply? A. Understanding “The Three Realities” This is one of the first skills I learned when I was training to become a coach. Over the years […]

Guilt, Mothers and Daughters – Break Free of This Gruesome Threesome

Mothers making daughters feel guilty has been coming up in conversations lately. It must be the Season! If you got the gift of guilt from your mother for Christmas this year, then you won’t want to miss our next posts and article about guilt. What is guilt? Why does feeling guilty feel so bad? Why […]

The Truth About You

I’m inspired to share this post from The BridgeMaker today. For all of us who have ever felt down and are hard on ourselves, these are powerful truths to bring us back. Enjoy! Val x “You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – A.A. Milne The enemy of […]

What I’ve Learned On My Mother Whisperers Journey

As most of you know, I’ve been on my own Mother Whisperers  journey for the past couple of years. I’d like to share with you what I have learned and where I am now. It started with wanting to understand more about daughters and mothers and how to master this special relationship … and it […]

Don’t Just Be a Great Mom – Be a Great Human Being!

There are so many wonderful giving moms out there! I’ve noticed that the focus for many women has been on not making the mistakes of their mothers…. to be a better Mom to their daughter. What I also see is that we invest so much into the role of parent, that we find it difficult  […]

When Building a Better Relationship With Your Daughter Isn’t Enough.

In my conversations with mothers, I’ve witnessed the strong drive to not repeat the frustration and pain that they experienced with their mothers. I’ve heard the powerful urge to right a perceived wrong that was done to them and make it better for the next generation.

However, focusing on your daughter relationship may not be enough to fill the hole within you or heal the legacy of hurt and disappointment with your own mother. It helps, but may not be enough to bring you peace of mind.

The 4 Keys to See Things Differently and Open Up New Possibilities

When we accept that a relationship (or any situation for that matter) isn’t working and things need to change, it can sometimes be hard to know what to do next. Change is difficult, even when we know its for the best! I know. I’m a coach with a change challenge myself! However, I’ve learned that […]

Communication 101 for Daughters and Mothers – #8 Recognize Your Judge

It can be tricky recognizing our own judge. When we see a situation our mind tends to leap ahead to interpret and evaluate what’s going on. Its part of our human survival mode. This is really useful when we are facing real danger, but in everyday circumstances instead of survival it often leads to misunderstandings […]

Put Aside Your Mask and Own Your Feelings

Getting in touch with our feelings is an important step in our Mother Whisperers journey. How come it’s hard to know exactly what we are feeling?
Two reasons come to my mind about why its hard, and also why we shouldn’t feel bad about not being able to fully feel!

Labeling Keeps Daughters and Mothers Stuck! (and I’m not talking about post-it notes)

Thanks for all the feedback on the recent post Venting About Mom Won’t Bring You Peace. When we vent it feels good for a short while. It’s healthy to express our anger too. But for many daughters it’s difficult to move forward, and so the cycle of  hurt-anger-venting continues. Rather than looking at what’s going […]

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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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