Archive for December, 2010

Secret Strategy to Help Button Up!

Thanks to those of you who have shared how hard it is to button up when mother is around, especially over the Holiday Season. I’d like to share my secret strategy  for ensuring that  you don’t aggravate the situation and create more drama and upset. STEP ONE: STEP TWO: The bonus here is that it […]

Resolving Conflict – Breaking Free from the Drama Triangle

This is a re-post to help everyone who wants to break free of mother and family conflict right now. (I hope you are reading this Bro) Tis the button season after all…. and buttons and conflict go hand in hand! A good friend asked me  “How can we end the drama triangle? It’s draining everyone, […]

What’s behind our buttons?

Could it be that simple … that all we want is to feel fully loved … really? What do you think?

Is Your Mother Pushing Your Buttons?

Let’s talk about buttons. We all have them and they go hand in hand with mothers and daughters! I’m not talking about the kind of buttons we have on our clothes, or our navel. This kind of button is an automatic reaction in our unconscious mind. Sometimes we don’t even know it’s a button that’s […]

It’s not about my mother – it’s all about me!

In my interviews with women on their mother relationships, I’m finding there are different ways for us to break through into a more fulfilling relationship. Thank you Dorothy for sharing your story. As you said “it wasn’t about my mother at all – it was all about me!” Sometimes we don’t have to have that […]

The Mother Daughter Husband Drama Triangle

Did you read the post on the Mother Daughter Husband Christmas story? We passed the drama triangle roles around between us while we were snowed in for 2 days. The script went like this: “It’s so unfair, I’m the victim! I’m a better victim than you! I want to be the hero! Don’t make me […]

A Mother Daughter Husband Christmas Story – Part 2

Some of you may be wondering how my mother, hubby and I broke free of the drama triangle last Christmas and what happened next….. Here’s part 2 of the story and the start of my journey for peace of mind in my own mother relationship. At the time I didn’t really understand what was going […]

A Mother Daughter Husband Christmas Story

Last year I had my Mum to the US to stay over Christmas. This was the first time she has been away from my brother and his family. We knew it would be a different kind of Holiday, but we hadn’t planned for back to back snow storms and a power outage……. Being together 24-7 […]

Mom I’m not needy – I just have needs!

As part of my own Mother Whisperer journey I’ve been reading about the needs we have as children and what happens when we don’t get them fully met. Interesting stuff! British child psychiatrist D.W. Winnicott defined the family as a “holding unit” that allows and supports the healthy growth of the child. As John Welwood […]

My Top 5 Control Patterns Confession

When I read over the control patterns list  I realize that I no longer rely on some of the old behaviors and have let them go.  As a reminder, a Control Pattern is something that we do try to feel in control and  avoid feeling discomfort, anxiety or vulnerable. (Click here to read more about […]

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  • COMMUNICATION QUIZ - Can You Make These Statements?

    Ask yourself if you make any of the following 15 statements. Find out if you are expressing yourself fully and are communicating with openness and presence.
    • SCORING The highest possible score is 30, and the lowest is zero. The higher the score, the higher your likelihood of having success in all your relationships. 0-9: You probably find yourself frustrated in relationships (especially with your mother) more often than you would like. 10-15: You have a high aptitude for relating and are open to learning 16-24: You have good relationship skills. How can you apply them more to your mother relationship? 25-30: Congratulations! Your capacity for present-centered relating is at a very high level.
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